I woke up in a white room with a head all filled with steel wool
and a stomach recently emptied of pills
for forty-five minutes or more I just lay there quietly cursing
my usual bad luck and this unusual fuck-up is breathing still
and I started when I heard a noise
it was a most unwelcome voice
saying to me
'Hey, do you know where you are?'
I didn't feel much like conversation and denial was my only companion
so I just turned my head, scowled and I said
'I can't remember what happened last night'
She said I was lucky as if she knew the first goddamned thing about me
I said 'save me the usual spiel and get real
and I know that your sympathy's part of the deal
and I know that these are tears that you've come to expect
but I don't want your pity or your fucking respect.'
and I started when I heard a noise
it was a most unwelcome voice
saying to me
'Hey, your friends are here?'
The truth is that I could kill all of you fuckers
but I don't want to see your face when I get to hell
Oscar tried to hug me
I could feel tiny ants crawl up and down my shirts sleeves
His eyes red and sticky from yesterdays smoke
and his voice cracked and trembled whenever he smoke
and I know that he's here because he thinks that he cares
but I know that I hate him and I hate that he's there
Julian emerged from the bathroom
with a look on his face that said 'this is all about me'
I shudder to think, but I know that some day
that the strength of this story will get Julian laid
and that's how it goes and that's how it is
some guys get fucked and some guys get his
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