You Are Evil (discografia)

by New Bedlam Asylum

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    New Bedlam Asylum's complete discography - 4 EPs, 25 tracks - across two cassettes

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about

The complete works of New Bedlam Asylum consolidated into one easy, manageable lump sum.

credits

released February 19, 2014

tags

license

all rights reserved
Track Name: UNTITLED
NOTHING EVER HAPPENS ON THIS STUPID LITTLE ROCK
IF I COULD FIND SOMETHING THAT MATTERS IT WOULD REALLY TURN ME ON
SO I'M TRYING TO BUILD SOMETHING OUT OF RANDOM BITS OF SONGS
IF I CAN MAKE A WORLD THAT MATTERS THAT WOULD MEAN THAT I AM GOD

(and I like the thought of being god for a little while)
Track Name: Keeping Kayfabe
Have you ever had to lie when people ask you 'what's up?'
Because saying your OK is easier than wiping off
that smug look of concern
and the narcissistic sentiment that they could even help

I'm just protecting my business
and I've gotta keep kayfabe about this stuff

If you're trying really hard not to punch me in the face
then you can rest assured that I'm doing the same thing
and I know that if it's happening then
it's only gonna be a worked shoot

I'm just protecting the business
and I've gotta keep kayfabe about this stuff
and I don't really mind that you're going over
and I don't need the rub but I could use it
so I'm gonna keep kayfabe about this stuff

and everybody wants to know that you're having a good time
and everybody wants to think that they're doing a good thing
and everybody loves to feel like they're having a moment
Track Name: Breaking Kayfabe
I saw a girl out with a smoke and she said
'that's not a smoke ring, thats a halo' and I said
'it's not a halo, it's a necktie' and she said
'it's not a necktie, it's a noose' and I said
'it's not a noose, it's an escape route' and she said
'you're kind of funny when you're not pretending to be'

I saw a girl out with her boyfriend and I said
'that's not your boyfriend, he's just familiar' and she said
'he's not familiar, he's just company' and I said
'he's not company, he's just there to keep you warm' and she said
'he's just there to keep me from thinking' and I said 'living' and she said
'A stopped clock is right twice a day'

I saw a girl out with some problems and she said
'They aren't problems, they're just weakness' and I said
'that isn't weakness, it's insecurity' and she said
'it's not insecurity it's sin' and I said
'that isn't sin it's human nature' and she said
'you're not as perceptive as you look like you think that you look'
Track Name: Tony's Song
Waking up to a hangover we both deserve;
me running around with my eyes closed, you catching me out;
treading water through a sea of ripped jeans and roll-ups
when you throw me a life ring
but all I want to do is get high with you
I've got to say that I can't be your night and day.

Things'll never be the same since that day back in September.
I've got to be honest, I really don't remember that much,
but now I know how my cousin must've felt
that time I felt her up.
Did I touch a nerve? You don't deserve that.

I'm a conscientious objector now,
In theory it makes sense, but the truth is it'll never work out
Track Name: Wing and a Prayer
I could have sworn that it was raining outside
I told her I was burnt out and she told me that she feels alive
We swore we'd be lovers till the day that we both died
well, maybe when we're not so jaded in another life.

Now I'm hungover and I'm lonely and I'm depressed
with a tightness in my ears and a ringing in my chest.
Walking away from you was some kind of stupid asshole move
but acting like an asshole's what I've always done best.

Maybe I'll call you when you're thirty three
and we can trade in one more tomorrow morning
for a last taste of your youth on a wing and a prayer for a good time.
We'll take it back to when it all seemed so obvious
and the last days of your youth are waving...
Track Name: How do you know there's a vegan at your dinner party?
I get it
You don't have to tell me all about social occasions and cultural traditions and the economy
and I get it
Your guilt is outweighed by the joy that you get from that carved up carcass on your plate

But don't act like the way I eat imposes on your life
And if you feel bad maybe that's between you, your fork and your knife

So, how do you know there's a vegan at your dinner party?

They'll answer questions about it politely until some asshole throws a shit-fit about how they're not going to get enough protein and 'why should I feel bad about eating meat when our ancestors have done it for generations and, anyway, animals eat other animals, that's just nature and, besides, if you're so concerned about killing animals, then how come you don't care about all those plants you've killed, you hypocrite?'

You see, I don't think I'm better than you just because I stay away from meat, but at least I've got the decency to shut the fuck up about it while you're eating.
Track Name: ppurgatory
I can hear Oscar sleeping
Somewhere in the dark a spot on the carpet's breathing
There he lies
Looking like the poster boy for foetal alcohol syndrome

Breath it out
But don't push me

Julian - i know he's around here somewhere
I haven't seen him since he cleared out my sock drawer
He'll get laid on the strength of this story

Breath it out
But don't push me
This time I don't care how many
of you that I take with me

The truth is I could kill all of you motherfuckers
But I don't want to see your face when I get to hell
Track Name: Janeway for President
Feminism benefits us all
and that's why we believe in it
we believe in it because it's right,
we believe in it because it's true
we believe in it because it benefits us all
we believe in it because it benefits us all

Feminist comedians are funny
and that's why we laugh at them
we laugh because they're right
we laugh because it's true
we laugh because they're awesome
we laugh because fuck Jeremy Clarkson

(and I know, I know, I know, 'it's just a joke, right? but I wonder why you find it so funny to constantly shit on those with less power than you in society rather than using humour to take away some of the power of those that shit on you and us every day.)

Feminism is sometimes really funny and feminism benefits us all

Feminism makes girls like me
but that's not why I do it
I do it because it's right
I do it because it's true
I do it because it benefits us all
I do it because fuck Max Hardcore

(and look, there's nothing wrong with having humiliation- or power-play as part of a healthy sexual relationship as long as there are clearly drawn boundaries and enthusiastic consent from everyone involved, it's just, if the actual power is more important to you than the agency and trust involved in freely relinquishing that power, maybe you need to have a serious think about how that influences the way you view people)

Feminism is really pretty sexy and feminism benefits us all

I'm a feminist because I fucking bother
to listen to my sister and my mother
and because I fell in love with Zadie Smith at an impressionable age...

Lot's of really cool people are feminists and feminism benefits us all

Feminism is for men as well, you know
But that's not the only reason I do it
I do it because it's right, I do it because it's cool
I do it because it benefits me
I do it because fuck the patriarchy

(and if you really think that women have it better just because men are supposedly expected to be these emotionless, powerful breadwinners or because, if conscription were to happen, women might be exempt, then what you're really saying is that you're frustrated by all these nonsensical gender roles created and sustained by the patriarchy that see women as weak, frail waifs and men as stunted, horny meat-heads which really, all they do is just fuck up your own sense of identity and what it means to be whatever gender you are. So fuck that.)

Feminist will smash the patriarchy and feminism benefits us all
Track Name: Disaster Capital
All you know could be turned to dust in a matter of time and matches.
Then we'll see who's laughing when those housing projects that you hide behind crumble to dust and the distant memories of your friendly neighbourhood deus-ex-machina.

we light it up, pour a stiff drink and watch it burn. You know, it's been a long time coming.

Gather round and strike a match
we'll watch the embers as they burn to ash.

There's no use crying over spilled blood but it's easy when you're prepared and I can see it coming a mile off from my ivory penthouse.
There's a lot of people waiting for the rapture, praying for end-times. Me, I can't wait - mushroom clouds look so pretty from a safe distance.
Track Name: Pop-Punk songs #4 & #5
I know that hindsight's twenty-twenty
but the beer goggles ought to balance that out
and now I'm struggling to remember why we used to go out
We were a match made in a doss-house:
The princess and the punk;
self-obsessing slut and self-hating runt

You were a tough act to swallow

And even though I couldn't see straight I was pretty sure
that you looked good naked on the bathroom floor
and even though now you probably hate me
and if you don't then you don't even think of me at all

We both loved drinking and Against Me!
so what the hell could go wrong?
A rhetorical question that we answered all summer long
At first we fucked more than we fought and then I felt the ratio shifting
through all the twisting, swirling, sweating, bitching

Even though I tried every other night and, on a good day, in the afternoon
You were a tough act to swallow

And even though I couldn't see straight I was pretty sure
that you looked good naked on the kitchen floor
and even though now you probably hate me
and if you don't then you don't even think of me at all

Hey, Joe, what d'ya think of this bridge part?
"I never really knew you at all at the time and now I'm starting to think that maybe that was a good thing
You never understood me and you never really tried and now I'm starting to think I should be counting my blessings"

I can count on my fingers what you took from me -
my time and my pride and my virginity and my t-shirt and cigarettes and my dignity
and that's when I said I was leaving.
I loved you so much that now I'm ashamed of it but I never loved you in ways that you wanted
you gave me your trust and I took a shit on it and then I said 'well, now we're even'
And I'm sorry for the way that you found out I was gay
but now you know not to take MDMA around guys with secrets and no place to sleep.
Track Name: Happy Song (with lots of love)
If I added up all the hours I'd spent wishing I was someone else
would they outweigh the hours I'd spent being glad that I'm alive?

If I added up all the things I hate about myself
would they outweigh the things I love about the people i love?

If I added up all the time I've spent being sad that people aren't nice to each other
would it outweigh the times that I've been genuinely nice?

If I added up all the questions that I'd rather not answer
would they outweigh the ones that I don't really have to?

Welcome to the world
A perfect self-inflicted hell
Take your time and do your damage
and smile if you can manage

A composite whole
of seven billion personal hells
We may all live in shit
but at least we're all in it
together
Track Name: Lean On Me
I woke up in a white room with a head all filled with steel wool
and a stomach recently emptied of pills
for forty-five minutes or more I just lay there quietly cursing
my usual bad luck and this unusual fuck-up is breathing still

and I started when I heard a noise
it was a most unwelcome voice
saying to me
'Hey, do you know where you are?'

I didn't feel much like conversation and denial was my only companion
so I just turned my head, scowled and I said
'I can't remember what happened last night'
She said I was lucky as if she knew the first goddamned thing about me
I said 'save me the usual spiel and get real
and I know that your sympathy's part of the deal
and I know that these are tears that you've come to expect
but I don't want your pity or your fucking respect.'

and I started when I heard a noise
it was a most unwelcome voice
saying to me
'Hey, your friends are here?'

The truth is that I could kill all of you fuckers
but I don't want to see your face when I get to hell

Oscar tried to hug me
I could feel tiny ants crawl up and down my shirts sleeves
His eyes red and sticky from yesterdays smoke
and his voice cracked and trembled whenever he smoke
and I know that he's here because he thinks that he cares
but I know that I hate him and I hate that he's there
Julian emerged from the bathroom
with a look on his face that said 'this is all about me'
I shudder to think, but I know that some day
that the strength of this story will get Julian laid
and that's how it goes and that's how it is
some guys get fucked and some guys get his
Track Name: God Playing Dice
would you stop and think how unlikely it is
that something as unlikely as love could exist
in a place as completely unlikely as this
it's a wonder that anything ever loved anything else at all.

I never thought that something like this love
could happen to people unlikely as us
it's a burden of truth and a matter of trust
and the universe playing itself out against all the odds.

Even though it feels nice to be playing the house and winning,
we'd better quit while we're ahead...

Alone late at night on the factory floor,
a God sits working and watching the door,
trying to cultivate something like love a bit more
out of old bits and pieces of flesh and of blood and of bone

Good Luck
Track Name: Fuck PUA
'Treat your plastic fuck doll like you know who's boss
or you could end up just as lonely as that
Don't treat it like a perso, you see,
it's just a vagina with a woman attached'

and I say:

ALL ARTISTS ARE RAPIST
AND ALL RAPISTS ARE COWARDS
SO COME AT ME BRO
I'LL FUCK YOUR SHIT UP

(and I can't say this enough)
FUCK PUA
Track Name: Untitled
I'm a little cartoon boy with a real life monster living in my chest or is it the other way around?
It doesn't really matter because the bastard son of both is walking the streets tonight in flip-flops and a dressing gown so WATCH THE FUCK OUT!

Hating everything is not so bad when you still believe that the god spinning beneath your ribs is bigger than the devil in your shoes and everything is determined by the force or irony.

So, I'm taking all these notebooks filled with first world problems written in my spit and putting them in a backpack and I'm painting my face with tiger stripes and cycling off a MOTHERFUCKING CLIFF and I'm singing 'that'll show 'em all' (but who?)
Track Name: ppurgatory
I can hear Oscar sleeping
Somewhere in the dark a spot on the carpet's breathing
There he lies
Looking like the poster boy for foetal alcohol syndrome

Breath it out
But don't push me

Julian - i know he's around here somewhere
I haven't seen him since he cleared out my sock drawer
He'll get laid on the strength of this story

Breath it out
But don't push me
This time I don't care how many
of you that I take with me

The truth is I could kill all of you motherfuckers
But I don't want to see your face when I get to hell
Track Name: Hell Hath No Fury
Today I woke up on the first day on my life
It's all going down here I guess I'll have my say and then I'll say goodbye
Everything is so peaceful in my world
All my angels and my devils act as one

They are not the in-crowd

Footsteps drop like snowflakes and my voice is static like radio
Charges blow in time with my heartbeat
I close my eyes and I breathe in slow
All the bastards will be grinding to a halt
all my angels and my devils act as one

They are not the future anymore'

"well, I know that I'm god-forsaken but I really don't care
because the god that you've chosen is neither here nor there
and I know that satan's army could be well on it's way
and I can't wait to meet them on my judgement day
and I know that all you fuckers, you deserve what you get
we've all got to die someday and I intend to deserve it
Hell has no fury because they ain't got me...'
Track Name: Gimme Shelter
80,000 children in this god-forsaken joke of a country
200 families every day that can be added to that
150,000 aunts and uncles, mums and dads and sisters and brothers

You should be fucking ashamed
You should be fucking angry
You should be fucking a part of the solution if you don't want to be party to this.

1 in 4 of these people are ex-military services
17% of cancer victims are out there as well
Over half of the women are fleeing some form of domestic abuse

'But why are they all on drugs?'
'Why don't they just get a job?'

I'd like to see you get a job without a bank account or a permanent address or a passport or a change of clothes or a safe place to sleep or take a shower or somewhere where you can prepare a healthy meal.

Fuck.
Track Name: Life in the shadow of the wing of the thing that's too big to see
If you've ever rode an aeroplane or filled out a tax return;
If you've ever watch pornography or slept with a drunk person
You're the worst kind of criminal
and you deserve the worst kind of prison.

If you know all about climate change but you've done nothing so far;
If you voted for Labour in '97; eat meat or own a car
You're a fucking murderer and you know exactly who you are.

It's hard to fight that feeling when you're/I'm watching television
That you're/I'm buying nukes for Israel and funding terrorism
and if you/I ever smoke another cigarette
cancer's way too good for you/me and that's exactly what we'll get.

If you own expensive jewelry or a pair of designer shoes;
If you have any children at all or if you ever plan to,
there's a special place in hell reserved for people like you.

EPILOGUE
2012 could be the year
that every-fucking-body in this awful hemisphere
awoke from troubled dreams to find that they'd transformed into disgusting vermin.
Track Name: Gin and Tonic For The Soul
You've got to be stoic in the face of your own inherent evil
and tell yourself that's what punk rocks really about
You've got to show compassion to the psychopaths and pricks and selfish fucks
and tell yourself that that's what being good's really about

You've got to be who you are even when who you are is a shithead (maybe I'm not sure about this one)

You've got to keep on writing even when you don't seem to write anything good
Because sooner or later you'll write a song that's OK
You've got to keep on gigging even though you're sure that nobody understands your art
Because sooner or later somebody might (and then you can be friends)

You've got to practice what you preach and preach what you're too scared to practice
and then just keep practicing and eventually you'll get better
and do your best to stop fantasising about shooting yourself in the groin and bleeding to death on your couch
Because you share that couch with four other people (who, honestly, probably don't want to see you suffer)

And sometimes you have to write these lame, twee, cheesy little pep-talks into songs
because that whole sarcastic, sardonic, post-modern, ironic, pseudo-intellectual, hungover day-to-day of getting older leads you nowhere
except outside of your skull

AND YOU DON'T DESERVE TO DIE
AT LEAST NOT YET
YOU HAVEN'T EARNED THE RIGHT
SO SERIOUSLY, CHARLIE

don't kill yourself