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S​.​T​.​E​.​N​.​D​.​E​.​C

by New Bedlam Asylum

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1.
Yoga Chant 01:45
2.
Today I woke up on the first day on my life It's all going down here I guess I'll have my say and then I'll say goodbye Everything is so peaceful in my world All my angels and my devils act as one They are not the in-crowd Footsteps drop like snowflakes and my voice is static like radio Charges blow in time with my heartbeat I close my eyes and I breathe in slow All the bastards will be grinding to a halt all my angels and my devils act as one They are not the future anymore' "well, I know that I'm god-forsaken but I really don't care because the god that you've chosen is neither here nor there and I know that satan's army could be well on it's way and I can't wait to meet them on my judgement day and I know that all you fuckers, you deserve what you get we've all got to die someday and I intend to deserve it Hell has no fury because they ain't got me...'
3.
I know that hindsight's twenty-twenty but the beer goggles ought to balance that out and now I'm struggling to remember why we used to go out We were a match made in a doss-house: The princess and the punk; self-obsessing slut and self-hating runt You were a tough act to swallow And even though I couldn't see straight I was pretty sure that you looked good naked on the bathroom floor and even though now you probably hate me and if you don't then you don't even think of me at all We both loved drinking and Against Me! so what the hell could go wrong? A rhetorical question that we answered all summer long At first we fucked more than we fought and then I felt the ratio shifting through all the twisting, swirling, sweating, bitching Even though I tried every other night and, on a good day, in the afternoon You were a tough act to swallow And even though I couldn't see straight I was pretty sure that you looked good naked on the kitchen floor and even though now you probably hate me and if you don't then you don't even think of me at all Hey, Joe, what d'ya think of this bridge part? "I never really knew you at all at the time and now I'm starting to think that maybe that was a good thing You never understood me and you never really tried and now I'm starting to think I should be counting my blessings" I can count on my fingers what you took from me - my time and my pride and my virginity and my t-shirt and cigarettes and my dignity and that's when I said I was leaving. I loved you so much that now I'm ashamed of it but I never loved you in ways that you wanted you gave me your trust and I took a shit on it and then I said 'well, now we're even' And I'm sorry for the way that you found out I was gay but now you know not to take MDMA around guys with secrets and no place to sleep.
4.
Have you ever had to lie when people ask you 'what's up?' Because saying your OK is easier than wiping off that smug look of concern and the narcissistic sentiment that they could even help I'm just protecting my business and I've gotta keep kayfabe about this stuff If you're trying really hard not to punch me in the face then you can rest assured that I'm doing the same thing and I know that if it's happening then it's only gonna be a worked shoot I'm just protecting the business and I've gotta keep kayfabe about this stuff and I don't really mind that you're going over and I don't need the rub but I could use it so I'm gonna keep kayfabe about this stuff and everybody wants to know that you're having a good time and everybody wants to think that they're doing a good thing and everybody loves to feel like they're having a moment
5.
I saw a girl out with a smoke and she said 'that's not a smoke ring, thats a halo' and I said 'it's not a halo, it's a necktie' and she said 'it's not a necktie, it's a noose' and I said 'it's not a noose, it's an escape route' and she said 'you're kind of funny when you're not pretending to be' I saw a girl out with her boyfriend and I said 'that's not your boyfriend, he's just familiar' and she said 'he's not familiar, he's just company' and I said 'he's not company, he's just there to keep you warm' and she said 'he's just there to keep me from thinking' and I said 'living' and she said 'A stopped clock is right twice a day' I saw a girl out with some problems and she said 'They aren't problems, they're just weakness' and I said 'that isn't weakness, it's insecurity' and she said 'it's not insecurity it's sin' and I said 'that isn't sin it's human nature' and she said 'you're not as perceptive as you look like you think that you look'
6.
Feminism benefits us all and that's why we believe in it we believe in it because it's right, we believe in it because it's true we believe in it because it benefits us all we believe in it because it benefits us all Feminist comedians are funny and that's why we laugh at them we laugh because they're right we laugh because it's true we laugh because they're awesome we laugh because fuck Jeremy Clarkson (and I know, I know, I know, 'it's just a joke, right? but I wonder why you find it so funny to constantly shit on those with less power than you in society rather than using humour to take away some of the power of those that shit on you and us every day.) Feminism is sometimes really funny and feminism benefits us all Feminism makes girls like me but that's not why I do it I do it because it's right I do it because it's true I do it because it benefits us all I do it because fuck Max Hardcore (and look, there's nothing wrong with having humiliation- or power-play as part of a healthy sexual relationship as long as there are clearly drawn boundaries and enthusiastic consent from everyone involved, it's just, if the actual power is more important to you than the agency and trust involved in freely relinquishing that power, maybe you need to have a serious think about how that influences the way you view people) Feminism is really pretty sexy and feminism benefits us all I'm a feminist because I fucking bother to listen to my sister and my mother and because I fell in love with Zadie Smith at an impressionable age... Lot's of really cool people are feminists and feminism benefits us all Feminism is for men as well, you know But that's not the only reason I do it I do it because it's right, I do it because it's cool I do it because it benefits me I do it because fuck the patriarchy (and if you really think that women have it better just because men are supposedly expected to be these emotionless, powerful breadwinners or because, if conscription were to happen, women might be exempt, then what you're really saying is that you're frustrated by all these nonsensical gender roles created and sustained by the patriarchy that see women as weak, frail waifs and men as stunted, horny meatheads which really, all they do is just fuck up your own sense of identity and what it means to be whatever gender you are. So fuck that.) Feminist will smash the patriarchy and feminism benefits us all
7.
Lean On Me 05:18
I woke up in a white room with a head all filled with steel wool and a stomach recently emptied of pills for forty-five minutes or more I just lay there quietly cursing my usual bad luck and this unusual fuck-up is breathing still and I started when I heard a noise it was a most unwelcome voice saying to me 'Hey, do you know where you are?' I didn't feel much like conversation and denial was my only companion so I just turned my head, scowled and I said 'I can't remember what happened last night' She said I was lucky as if she knew the first goddamned thing about me I said 'save me the usual spiel and get real and I know that your sympathy's part of the deal and I know that these are tears that you've come to expect but I don't want your pity or your fucking respect.' and I started when I heard a noise it was a most unwelcome voice saying to me 'Hey, your friends are here?' The truth is that I could kill all of you fuckers but I don't want to see your face when I get to hell Oscar tried to hug me I could feel tiny ants crawl up and down my shirts sleeves His eyes red and sticky from yesterdays smoke and his voice cracked and trembled whenever he smoke and I know that he's here because he thinks that he cares but I know that I hate him and I hate that he's there Julian emerged from the bathroom with a look on his face that said 'this is all about me' I shudder to think, but I know that some day that the strength of this story will get Julian laid and that's how it goes and that's how it is some guys get fucked and some guys get his

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released May 21, 2013

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